Run Number: 1162     Surf on over to: www.bhhh.freeserve.co.uk

Venue:   The Bull, Barkham email: iceman@bhhh.freeserve.co.uk

Hares:   Nippon Tuck, Chopstix
(and some assistance from Fog Horn)


Bullocks and Heifers
Hamlet, Ladybird, Man Eater, Baldrick, C5, Cloggs, Sticky Dicky, Gulab Ja Moon, Hairy Mary, Spot, Bo Peep, Decay, Whinge, Bomber, Nutcracker, Potty, Gusset, TT1, Tin Opener, Mr M, Dumper, TT3, Miranda, Squelchy, Cheating, The Tremblers, Septic, BGB, Spexs, Vicky, Marnie?? Who.

You're not in the barn now!
Those of us who had been barn dancing the night before were rubbing tortured calves (the RSPCA will get to hear of this!) and bruises as we staggered into the morning light outside the Bull (not the Bell, which what Hairy Mary had been looking for, since half past ten).
Ladybird had managed to hang onto a couple of the Oxford Hashers who had joined us the night before and we had a couple of nice young lady newcomers (who had brought along the hounds to protect them).
On the subject of the night before, a truly excellent time was had by all. Superb catering (as always), a great band and a caller who acquired a Hash sense of humour. Certain interesting traits became apparent; Decay cannot seem to keep off his back, Miranda doesn't know her left from her right, TT1 seemed to have a pogo stick up his backside, Whinge has a rather blunt chatup technique - "will you have sex with me?" It was good to see that so many of the Berkshire Hash are just as demented when dressed up for an evening out as when dashing through the shiggy on a run. Thank God Lemming wasn't there.

And so to the run, out up the road towards the Church, TT1 was spied doing something very unpleasant to a Water Boosting Station, I am not sure what he was up to but I definitely would not be drinking the water in the pub (well who would anyway - this is a Hash!). Several front runners were fooled by the torturous route to the Church and we set off on what was to become all too common - a long run to the next check. At this point Greenfly comes storming through, he had decided that we needed a big headstart, so he had gone to do his shopping first. (It later transpired that he of all people had committed that heinous crime - shortcutting).
After a long false check up a lane I decided that this was an opportune moment to relieve myself, having finished my business in the woods I ventured back out onto the road to be greeted by a young lady doing the same in the ditch. As requested I moved along quickly, keeping eyes firmly ahead.
Along the main road and up through what seems to be a caravan storage depot bizarrely guarded two pot-bellied pigs, thoughts of apple sauce and bacon sandwiches spring to mind (except the minds of the vegetarians of course). Up through a children's playground to where a huge arrow points us into the woods, the undergrowth got thicker and thicker until eventually I am trapped in a strange threesome with Decay and TT3. We fought our way out, back onto the same lane, which we had just left. - BGB had of course just walked up. The path now gets muddier and muddier, Man Eater gets her shoe sucked-off by the mud, pure coincidence that I am close by to grab the sucked-off item to stop it going down.

To the regroup, while we waited for the tail-enders various Hashers looked at the surrounding mud and thoughts of "there is something that we used to do at times like this" passed through their little minds - where was Lemming? Suddenly it all came back, C5 and Decay mud wresting, Cloggs hurling shiggy balls at all and sundry and Hamlet ending up like the Phantom of the Opera, mud and flour covering one side of his face, the other side as clean as a whistle.

The long trail runs off through more woods and out onto the golf course, Greenfly could just be seen vanishing into the next set of woods. The doppler shift turning him through yellow into orange. From this point onwards the tape machine seems to have got stuck on record, all I can hear is a what sounds like galloping horses and a lot of panting. I don't remember being chased by the cavalry - but the tape cannot lie. After many miles we suddenly reappear onto the same road that we started from 1/2 a mile up from the pub. C5 obviously enjoyed the run so much he set back off on the out trail, to be vigorously called back by Ladybird and myself.
Exhausted we retire to the pub, the short runners are already well settled and into their drinks, which they were lucky to get given the extremely surly bar staff.


Down Downs

Who     Why         How

BoPeep     "The worlds worst Barndancer   Usual steady downing

TT1     For dancing like a demented Zebedee
      Now renamed Zebedee     Both covered in beer & flour
TT3 emptied half over Zebedee
TT3     Renamed Florence  
        
Man Eater   Only turning up for Whinge's promise Only managed 1/2, the rest
      Which he failed to keep!     went over her shoulder.

Chopstix & Nippon Tuck   The hares     Very able beer quaffing


Up & Coming

Run No. Date   Grid ref. Venue   Hares

1164   Mar 12th 663828   Four Horseshoes 2 Bob, TT3 &
            Checkendon   Puddleduck

1165   Mar 19th 715668   Village Hall   Greenfly &
            Spencers Wood   Emma
******Greenfly's 50th Birthday Run, Hash Half-year Meeting & Awards ******


Notes

Curry Run: March 15th 19:30 to and from The Everest, Honey End Lane, Tilehurst.
Live trail by BoPeep, £5 deposit to Foghorn

Surrey Hash 25th Hash & Ball. 15th/16th April, The Beaumont Centre, Old Windsor.
£32 for runs, meals & dinner/dance. Accommodation, £52 for double room (random sharing for singles possible).
Arfur Pint (Sheila Dale) 0208 660 0584 (home) or 0208 686 0050 (work) for details & tickets.