Greenfly Spot Hashgate Ian NoWorries Cap’n Haystax Emma Baldrick HairyMary Foghorn Wally Dumper Septic Centaur Iceman PartyAnimal Ms. Whiplash Salome NewburyBrian Buffalo PonyExpress TinOpener Rawhide Spex Chopstix Liam Flash Scrumper Nutcracker Tweenie Dwight Paella Amanda GBH Potty Lord Lucan Daisy Cof TerryDactyl Whinge Phil Khazi Jackie Karen Honeymonster Lonely and Beaver TT2 Zebedee Florence HoneyAnt Puddleduck 2Bob Shirley Mr. Mainwaring Squelchy

A Greenfly run. People were warming up, rubbing on the liniment, adjusting GPS navigation equipment, checking survival packs prior to the On Out. We’ve all done one before and we knew that some people had never come back and some still bear the mental scars. Compared to a Greenfly trail taking the Falklands was a Sunday afternoon stroll. However, we were to be pleasantly surprised. Perhaps the sensible Spot had reined in his more adventurous tendencies. Perhaps the Greenfly had realised that the Hash would not be able to attend the G(o)rilla BBQ if it were lying exhausted in the Outer Hebrides.

We On Outed from the car park in a mad melée; a whirling scramble bounding off in all directions. This set the scene for much of the rest of the Hash. The Hares had obviously been very busy, with all sorts of false trails, back checks and bars. Groups of people kept meeting each other as they arrived at a woodland spot from different directions. "On Back". "On On". "False trail", sounded from all over the place as desperate Hashers disappeared down apparent trails only to reappear minutes later to the smirking delight of Greenfly and Spot. Dwight met us at a bar check, coming from the opposite direction. PartyAnimal got very excited running down a false. Daisy bounded through the forest after ‘Roaring’ Lord Lucan – not that either of them had the faintest idea which was the right trail. BoPeep called "On On" while running down a false that I had already checked. Virgin Liam (Hairy Mary’s friend) was caught short-cutting – I can see he will turn into an excellent Hasher. Ms. Whiplash actually did the longer loop that the FRB’s did….and promptly whinged about it.

Now about this time we all popped out of the undergrowth and on to a road, just as Linda cruised languidly down it in her BMW ragtop, elbow on the door, checking the makeup in the mirror. "Am I too late?" she drawled, affecting an air of louche ennui. Well, she spun Amanda and me some trumped-up story about working late, while the rest of the pack melted back into the forest and by the time she got to the "I suppose there’s no point in my starting, as I’ll never catch up," part of the story she had already executed a swift three-point turn and screamed off down the road laughing like a drain. Amanda and I stared at the deserted, silent forest, stared at each other…and ran like hell to catch up.

Shortly after catching up I had an interesting conversation with Baldrick on the relative merits of naked Hashing. Generally, we felt we were all for it as long as a) we could pick those female Hashers we felt ought to run sans kit, and b) there were no groin level gorse bushes. This conversation was extended at the first regroup, with Emma, Spex and Chopstix who agreed that certain Hashers must be excluded (no names were put forward) and that if they (the girls) were to take part three months in the gym and sessions on the sunbed were an absolute must. We spent a hugely enjoyable moment watching GBH fall flat on his arse as we On Outed from the regroup, and then we were off like the wind.

Just after this a white Astra full of prats attempted to run us over as they escaped from the undergrowth, having set fire to a car. Luckily, no-one was hurt and Tweenie and Centaur raised the alarm and stayed until the Fire Brigade arrived. Hopefully these delinquents will be caught soon before they do some real damage. See Announcements, below.

This was great, with delicious sausages and bread and enough beer brought for those who hadn’t brought their own. Well done Septic for chef’ing. Lonely opined that he couldn’t come standing up – which surprised some of us! Salome used one of the Gobsheets as a hot sausage holder! Hairy Mary had brought a bottle opener – good man.

Mr. Mainwaring hurtled up from the wild West especially to be RA :-

Sadly, NoWorries lost his mother recently. BH³ would like to offer our thoughts and best wishes to both him and his father.

If anyone got a good description of the people who set fire to the car at Bucklebury, or the white Astra number plate, please contact Tweenie who is liaising with the police.