Berkshire Hash House Harriers 

Run Number:

1184 31/07/00

Visit the website – http://www.bhhh.freeserve.co.uk

Venue:

The Chequers
Berrick Salome

Email - iceman@bhhh.freeserve.co.uk

Hares:

Zebedee, Ladybird and Transit

Hashers, Hashers Everywhere!

Zebedee Ladybird Transit Motormouth HeyBabe Hashgate Spunky Centaur Dwight Tacky Hashdray Prof Gadget Dipstick Whistleblower ManeaterC5 Larry Sherpa Baldrick Potty Scrumper Eth Salome Ms. Whiplash Dolly Paella Florence LeVoisin LarksVomit Takeaway PanicButton ChooChoo Bob Whadyasay Fagend Steamer Whinge Flash Bomber Iceman Jenks Liz Phil Karen LordLucan BoPeep 2Bob Puddleduck HoneyAnt Tinopener Miranda Squirrel Cap’n Haystax Clare Cap’n Y-Fronts RoadEnema Dingaling Blowjob Circle David Jonathan Ben Greenfly TT2 Nipples Jenny Tweenie Circle McRib…. and others whose names I sadly missed

The Run

So I thought we’d start this week’s Gobsheet with a picture of C5, having sneaked away from ‘er indoors, enjoying a clandestine pint in a smoky Bracknell dive (Could be any of the pubs then). Not sure about those girly shades or the Walnut Whip on the head, but the size of the jug and the evident enjoyment says it all.

Well this run was billed as a joint effort with the Bicester and Oxford chapters and indeed the pub car park was full of ‘em, even about 7 o’clock. Motormouth and I rolled in in stately fashion…and smoothly rolled back out again since there appeared to be no spaces. I should have taken a leaf out of BoPeep’s book of parking techniques. He arrived late (on time for BH3) and nosed his large machine through the thronging masses without a care in the world, breaking only a few legs and flattening only one passing rodent.

It was nice to wander round the various groups and meet people from other Hashes. Most were impressed with our hi-tech (?!) method of recording details for the Gobsheet and happily shouted their Hash names into the machine. This makes for interesting listening later. Having chatted with Zebedee, Transit and Ladybird, Motormouth and I were interested to learn that there were a great number of trails – a short, a medium, a medium long and a very long, all with various shortcuts. I informed Liz, Phil and Karen chirpily that the long trail was about 8 miles and was pleased to see the dust rise as Liz crashed to the earth in a dead faint. Several others blanched as C5 officiated at the Gather Round. We shouldn’t have been surprised I suppose. Zebedee recently got a loan from his (and I mean his) bank and bought a replacement bionic leg. He’s been keen to try it out. It’s quite easy to spot if you look carefully. It’s a lot hairier than the other and the knee is on backwards. I reckon he bought a cheap one from the owner of the donkey that had it’s hind leg talked off by Eth, Ms. Whiplash, Chris, LaybyLil and Salome….

Despite a late start, newcomers were welcomed, people harangued, the Hares explained the trail and the different signs (which some of us missed completely – see Down Downs) and we were off! It was quite amazing to watch; a solid mass of multi-cloured Hashers running, jogging and slouching down the road and on to the trail. Greenfly seemed to be leading the way, wearing a quite amazing cerise outfit. He was barely recognizable as The Emerald Icon. Then Whinge turned up, climbing over barbed wire and attempting to hurl himself into a ditch. This, no doubt, was an attempt to cover with mud and hide the lurid creation he was wearing. Sadly, he missed the shiggy and landed like a less than nimble tropical butterfly at my feet. Had his eyeballs popped out on stalks and his tongue unfurled a couple of feet I would have had no hesitation in crushing him like an insect…

Now unfortunately I didn’t do the long trail which means I can only report on the short cutters who clumped across the superb countryside in a soldierly group. The reason for my bottling out was because I did the Tough Guy event on the Sunday which tends to leave you feeling like an old bit of lettuce that’s been munched and trodden on by a Galapagos tortoise. The picture here gives you some idea of the sort of thing you do. The website at http://www.toughguy.co.uk gives you a better idea. Now there were some BH3 Hashers who had promised to join me on the day but their promises were as smoke in the wind. I shall name no names – but you certainly missed a fun day! Maybe next year.

But back to the Hash. The country was simply superb; the evening sun beautiful; the checks largely invisible. The village of Warburgh was as pretty as a picture – until Bomber, Whinge and I appeared on the village green discussing the label on, and the size of, Paella’s underwear! The trail split shortly after and I managed to find a large ‘X’ which meant false trail, despite HoneyAnt’s squeaky protestations that it was a 4-way check. Still, I got a free (half) pint out of it – see below. >From here the short-cut phalanx tramped grimly onward in the knowledge that the pub (with two inexperienced barmaids) was not far away and that we could just probably get there before the rest of the thronging mass. Puddleduck, Motormouth, HoneyAnt and I led the merry band up to one of those ‘X’ falses from an(other) invisible check in Roke and back to a bosky snicket where we frightened a bloke with a bike who was making a phone call. He did look surprised! Then on past the Millenium marker for the four hamlets in the parish of Berrick Salome and a swift cruise back to the pub. Speaking to the long-trailers later, they all seemed to have enjoyed it. Certainly their sweating carcasses, bellows-like breathing and tongues-on-chest indicated this as they staggered back past Motormouth and me, enjoying a cooling draught and leaning insouciantly on the car. Well done, the hardworking Hares. This was a fine pub for a summer night and it was great to have the three Hashes together. On On. Hashgate.

Down Downs

Joint RAs C5(you know him), Whadyasay(with mortar board) and Rasher(the big one) presented the following :-

Name

Reason

Style points

HashDray

The virgin guest

Slow but sure – until the final messy quarter pint

Spunky
Cocktail

Being a competitive bastard
A competitive drinker

Excellent style – no spillage
Slightly faster – but with spillage

Hashgate

Allegedly declaring a false as a 4-way check ("I never done it, yer honour" said the accused)

Usual pathetic attempt, but rounded off with a deft chuck over the RAs.

Squirrel

Going to the wrong pub

Casually elegant

Dipstick

Dropping himself in it to the RA

Even worse than I am!

Greenfly

For wearing pink!

Just minor drippage

Zebedee, Ladybird and Transit

The Hares

Great stuff. They finished in reverse order.

Up and Coming

Run Number

Date

Grid Reference

Venue

Hares

1186

14/08/00

552731

The Pot Kiln, Frilsham
(Bring a change of clothes!)

Scrumper

1187

21/08/00

587667

The Rising Sun, Woolhampton
*Dress as a clown & fool around*

Potty, Whinge