Scrumper HeyBabe Whinge AndrewFox Spunky TinOpener NewburyDave OldFart Circle SkyDiver Binbag Nutcracker Gusset C5 Cap’nHaystax Flash Shirley and Joe Rawhide Spex Panther GBH CircuitBreaker Shep AntiHash Iceman HalfLife PosingPouch Squelchy Mr. Mainwaring(looking like Derek Jacobi on a bad hair day) Mudman Mudwoman OrganGrinder PartyAnimal Chopstix Foghorn Wally PonyExpress Baldrick Richard SlipperyDick Hamlet Jake(the dog) florence Zebedee 2Bob Puddleduck HoneyAnt Roy BoPeep Ms. Whiplash Salome LaybyLil Chris Lesley Spot Centaur Madeleine Cheating Dwight BlowJob FannySniffer Cheryl Jenks Julia Spurter Phil Jackie(but see Down Downs) Karen Khazi

Things started well enough. The car park filled. Yet more new people (nice to see ‘em) arrived (some like Panther, all the way from the Antipodes). Both Hamlet and Squelchy delighted the watching throng by stalling their cars. The evening sky was filled with a huge lowering sun and multi-coloured clouds. Everyone was welcomed at the Gather Round. Spex did not attempt to warm up. We found the On Out fairly quickly. Little did we know that Scrumper had laid a trail of truly Greenfly proportions and that many of us would be staggering back in the pitch dark with nought but a Hunter’s moon and the occasional bat to guide us.

We pitched off across the fields and immediately fell into the first of the Scrumpster’s cunning traps. The trail pointed out like a finger (I couldn’t say which one…) and we duly ran up one side, across the fingernail and back down the other. Nice one. This did not stop certain people (Centaur, Spex, Florence and Cheryl) from climbing the fence at roughly the first joint in order to cut off a fair chunk. Mind you, little good did it do them since we found ourselves back at the fingernail bit shortly after. Frankly, I’m not sure how we a) managed this and b) found the right trail from here. After all, we had just gone another way from this part. Maybe Scrumper had laid a crafty bit of flour while we dallied in the woods?

We hared through quite a lot of woodland, waking up a load of old dogs in the process (ok, we’ve had all those jokes!) and Shep blatantly broke the country code by going through a fence rather than over a stile – but then so did Motormouth and I. Huge and vicious stinging nettles blocked the way and I was very grateful to new boy AndrewFox for lifting Motormouth up and over them. Shortly after this we came to a standard five bar gate and most of us got over the damn thing ok. However, one did not. SlipperyDick obviously had his own ideas of how to vault obstacles. Motormouth and stood watching and mentally ticked his technique off in the ‘Not To Be Attempted At All Costs’ column of lifestyle learning as he crashed to earth in an embarrassed tangle of arms and legs. Thankyou, Richard, for providing us with that.

So we hit the first regroup in a narrow lane in between the fields and variously discussed our damp attire, the trail, the flour etc and waited for the slower people…..and waited. Circle tried to slip away early but we wouldn’t let him. PonyExpress gave us the benefit of her fashion expertise by suggesting we wear dark T-shirts to show less muck and biscuits. Wally (ever the gent) described Nutcracker as ‘That back breaking bird’. Then we slipped off to be confronted by Scrumper’s craftiest plan yet. Six blobs later one of the new chaps and I found the ‘F’!! Scrumper explained, with a smile, that he had been freshening up the trail after the rain and some blobs had been duplicated. The sheer gall of the man! A while after it happened to me again! Ok, I thought, that’ll do me for checking, caught up with C5 and had a very pleasant chat indeed while watching Phil (amazingly) running up the hill! He’s been at the EPO again. Things began to get a little dusky here, as we reached another wood, and a sliver of doubt began to creep into our minds. But the trail was fine, the weather clement and soon we were at the Scrumpers Inn for the beer stop. A very pleasant spot it is too and a fine selection of beer and drinks and oranges were laid out for us. The kindly Mrs Scrumper showed me to the downstairs convenience in luxurious ChezScrumper. Everyone relaxed. Scrumper then told us we had a choice of trails. What a fine chap, we thought, raising our glasses to him. ‘You can either do 2 miles or 4’, he continued. We lowered our glasses, frowning a tad. It was getting dark. Oh bugger. We ran off in two different directions. The picture shows how we felt after leaving Scrumper’s abode.

RA C5 presented the following :-