Run No. 1192

24th September 2000

Venue: The Chequers, Fingest        Email – iceman@bhhh.freeserve.co.uk

Hares:         Paella & Buffalo

Hikers : Baldrick, Bomber, C5, Daisy, Dribbler, Eth, Foghorn, GBH, Hamlet, Le Voisin, Lord Lucan, Miss Whiplash, Nutcracker, Potty, Shep, Spot, Steamer, Trembler & Knee Trembler, Florence & Zebidee, Pyro, Wally aka Thrush and one visitor from the US, Captain Correlli.

FIVE HILLS RUN (pessimists view)
- FIVE VALLEYS RUN (optimists view)

A meagre 24 turned out for this first winter run and the weather certainly reminded us of this fact. The location being so far North (in Buckinghamshire), this being the first Sunday run, the competing Mortimer fun run and possibly Olympic viewing fatigue were the likely suspects. Several of this number arrived after the run had begun (with complaints that they were held up by following 'Wally' who was travelling at a very slow speed – some story about a car wash apparently). The start had begun with a warning from the hares that the trail had been laid the day before. With rain already fallen and more in prospect, this did not bode well but at the first check, right outside the pub, the hare soon pointed the pack in the right direction and recalled those checking in the wrong direction.

Up Checkers Lane and off right up an alley beside Church House we went. 'Foghorn' leading missed the fork left diagonally across a field with the footpath roped off to keep hens, black sheep and some horses away from the horrors of hashers in full climbing mode i.e. grumbling and walking for the most part. The FRB's were not very eagle eyed (there was little flour to spot) as they ran across a check where the trail entered the woods half-way up the hill but Buffalo called the pack back for a detour through the trees to the right. This trail soon petered out and the check was overrun again but with minimal flour present not surprising. Again the Hare called the check and in short order we resumed our climb upwards to a lateral muddy track which took us back to the original footpath. With the rain beginning to fall heavily 'GBH' took a slip in the mud to no sympathy and a few "pissed again" comments. A check where footpath and track crossed did not hold then pack long as the hare didn't let the pack scatter to far before pointing up the hill. This process was repeated at the next check over the hill as we emerged out of the wood. This took us left on a track just inside the wood with 'Buffalo' the FRB !

Afer an undulating section, the track rapidly dropped back down to a road and the trail turned left back towards Fingest along a broad grass verge. Short of the village the trail turned right and it was hill climbing mode again with the yellow jersey of the hare now well ahead. Falling in with our visitor 'Captain Correlli' who comes from the flat New Orleans area provided an excuse for a walk and a chat but at the top of the hill I took him on a short-cut across a field rather than around the three other sides, a trick I remembered from last years visit to the area.

Rejoining the main pack as it doubled back into the woods we were trumped by 'Paella' and 'GBH' on an even shorter short-cut straight through the wood. 'Foghorn' could be heard complaining about the very long falses – what does he think FRBs are for ! The inevitable downhill proved very slippy with 'Florence' needing a hand to stay on two feet – and only then realising she had been chatting with the scribe.

A regroup followed at the foot of the hill outside The Frog pub in Skillett (our starting point for a run a year ago – hence a strong whiff of veja-vu about this trail). At this point the long and short trails split. The long took most of the pack a few tens of yards down the road and round two sharp corners to a narrow alley off the road which headed uphill yet again. Hill climbing mode was re-engaged and a chat with the back-markers 'Trembler' & 'Steamer' followed as this hill number four was scaled. Over the top and tricky footing afflicted 'Trembler' this time on the downhill trail while 'Bomber' appeared to be coming up the trail –he was not sure he was on ? In the absence of flour the rest of us were following 'Buffalo' while 'Spot' tore down the slope with a fine disregard to personal safety. 'Trembler' was more circumspect as his footing proved less than stable despite his lower centre of gravity.

We emerging on a road which we crossed and then after traversing a field we arrived in the village of Turville, which features in the TV show "The Vicar of Dibly". Here the FRBs could be seen beginning their assault on the fifth (and last) hill towards the windmill. Here I fell in with like minded souls, 'GBH' and 'Dribbler' and took the direct and flat route back to the Pub in the by now heavy rain. A very welcoming Pub it proved to be with many equally wet hikers (nice to know there are others equally mad who go out in the rain).

Down Downs
When time came for the down-downs in the bear garden, many of the sun umbrellas were appropriated to provide some shelter from the steady rain. The down-down beers however were steadily being watered down so C5 got stuck in.

Name	Reason	Style
Captain Correlli	Newcomer from the States	Sunk in reasonable style.
Bomber	For taking an unnecessary detour on the way and then parking by the Church having missed the large car park at the rear of the pub	A swift dispatch from this veteran.
GBH	On a first count of failing to uphold the dignity of this new office (joint master) i.e. slipping in the mud – claimed it was the dog !	Down-down withheld as he is now a committee member (new rule)
Bomber	For bringing the dog which tripped GBH	A glass of water most of which was spilt.
GBH	On a second count of being his birthday	C5 relented. GBH did the honours with usual style.
Paella & Buffalo	The hares – say no more	OK by Buffalo but poor effort from Paella leading to much barracking.

Up and Coming

Run	Date / Time	Grid Ref	Venue	Hares
1193	1 Oct 2000 * 11 am *	756826	Saracens Head, Greys Rd, Henley	Lord Lucan, Shep