Run Number:	1214 25/02/01	Visit the website – http://www.bhhh.freeserve.co.uk
Venue:	The Pack Saddle Chazey Heath	Email – iceman@bhhh.freeserve.co.uk
Hares:	Bomber and John from New York (time he was named!)

The Good Turnout

Bomber John from N.Y. Hashgate Motormouth Florence Ladybird Spot Buffalo PonyExpress CircuitBreaker Lonely Arkle and Beaver the dog Dribbler and Paddy the dog Steve the newcomer HeyBabe and friends Potty Nutcracker Gusset Dumper Septic Mother Theresa Lemming 2Bob Puddleduck Abnormal BoPeep Cheating Chopstix Foghorn Ms. Whiplash Eth Salome Anorak TrainSpotter Jill(Lilo’s bit o’ stuff) Flash LeVoisin Ann Greenfly BGB Iceman Shep and Gnarler the dog Wally Spex Baldrick

“It always goes this way.” Well it didn’t!

Well sadly my equipment failed me. The bloody tape machine is sulking and no amount of swearing, entreating and cajoling will raise it, Lazarus-like, from the dead. So this one is completely from memory and if I have forgotten anyone on the list of attendees, I apologise.

Bomber and John had done well (despite having to change the trail due to the foot and mouth outbreak) and picked a perfect running day; cold, fresh and a stunning blue sky. It was also the first dry run we have had for months – Beaver was most disappointed. A large contingent had turned out on this fine day and all seemed to be eager for the off. Ms. Whiplash duly welcomed newcomers Steve and HeyBabe’s friends and Bomber gave us the old “There are one or two bar checks” speech before bidding us good hunting. And that’s where the eagerness abated. The Hash walked, yes, walked out of the car park and only broke into a trot when it realised it was in imminent danger of being mown down by the maniac drivers on the Woodcote Road. We soon got stuck into the woodland trail and it wasn’t long before we were on the expected (and thoroughly pleasant) track through the golf course. A Long glide down this sun-warmed path soon produced the expected bar, but we had certainly warmed up. Jill and Arkle were all set for whipping off their tops despite the keenness of the air. I was a touch concerned since we certainly wouldn’t want to frighten nearby creatures with all that flapping and bouncing around (no,no gentle reader; I of course mean the wind blowing the T-shirts – shame on you!). Fortunately, the girls contented themselves with a top layer readjustment and we all breathed a sigh of relief.

Now Bomber had explicitly mentioned earlier that we would be running only on recognised tracks, due to the foot and mouth problems, so who should Bomber, John and I notice running off the recognised track as we waited at a check? Wally, of course. We looked at each other in resigned despair. “Oh goodnes!” Exclaimed Bomber. “There’s that Wally fellow.” Or something like that.

I got chatting to Spot shortly after this and he told me that he had laid a trail around this area when it was thick with snow. Apparently, he and his fellow Hare used diced carrots instead of flour to mark the trail. He didn’t mention just how drunk they had been the night before…..

Shep came up behind me on the chalky hill. I knew this because he was preceded by panting hound Gnarler, straining against it’s shoulder harness in an effort to drag 16 stone of dead weight builder up a 1 in 4 rock-strewn path. Not an easy task for a short-legged creature. You have to admire it for sticking to the task. Personally, I’d have turned round, bitten Shep on the arse and made him drag me up the damn hill.

We were soon into the merry Caversham tarmac where a merry Caversham resident bleated wildly out of her front dorr, berating us for running across her bit of grass. Bearing in mind that the bit of grass was more lakeland fell rather than bowling green and that some distinctly dodgy motors were parked on it I couldn’t quite see what her problem was. 2Bob, Motormouth and I duly trotted across it in considered acts of juvenile and senile delinquency. Sadly, the old bat didn’t want to play and remained resolutely inside her festering hovel. We On Onned to the regroup at the newly refurbished Grosvenor and stood about in small sunlit groups. From here was a short and long trail and the sensible ones took the short back with John as guide. The rest of us knew it was only a matter of time before we had to run up Gravel Hill….

We all stonked off down the delightfully named Bugs Bottom and many of us stood at the bottom of the valley happily watching all the people who had run up the steep path on the other side. There was a certain triumphant note in Bomber’s “On back” and a smile on many of my fellow runners’ faces. Now this area was very cold and windswept and you had to keep running just to attempt to stay warm. However, my spirits were certainly warmed when, coming near to Mother Theresa and Circuit Breaker they offered me firstly a ‘piggyback’, closely followed by a ‘bunk up’. Not an offer a chap gets twice in one day from two such attractive ladies. Sadly, it was too bloody cold for either so I stonked onward, hearing Lemming running up behind me and addressing the ladies as a ‘pair of lazy cows’ for not running fast enough. I sometimes wonder how he remains alive. And so we staggered up the aforementioned Gravel Hill, passing sisters Arkle and Florence on the way and then taking the wrong turn up towards Kidmore End. Funny how people just melt away, isn’t it? I found myself entirely alone having a pleasant run round the edge of the golf course and meeting a very friendly coffee and cream coloured pussycat on the way. We exchanged pleasantries and our views on various catmeats and parted on the best of terms. From here it was a short limp to the pub.

Congrats to Bomber and John for providing a fine trail after having to change the original one. Fortunately, the only evidence of foot and mouth was Wally – he kept putting one in the other…
On On. Hashgate.

Down Downs

BoPeep officiated excellently and presented the following :-

Name	Reason	Style points
Steve	A newcomer to the Hash	Excellent effort and was gent enough to pour the last bit on his head
PonyExpress & Arkle	Warming up before the off	A very reasonable effort by both
Baldrick	Owning a Saga biro, but not owning up to the fact	Usual fine effort (for an old chap!)
Foghorn Ms. Whiplash	Sorry – can’t quite remember	Foghorn actually stopped half way!
Lemming	Owning up to wearing women’s underwear	Good toping. He then (gulp!) put on said underwear
Bomber and John	The Hares	Hardly a whisker between them!

Announcements

· OnOn from Reading ½ marathon, 11^th March, at HeyBabe’s (grid 711757). Food £2.50. Assisted showers free. Contact HeyBabe by Wednesday 7^th March for details.

· Wednesday 14^th March. Curry run. See BoPeep for details.