Berkshire Hash House Harriers
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Run Number: |
1269
17/03/02 |
Visit the website – http://www.bhhh.freeserve.co.uk |
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Venue: |
Shep’s
Hutt |
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Hares: |
Hashgate,
Motormouth, SHEP |
Earlybirds
Potty, Greenfly, Pissquick, Squirrel, Glittertits, Iceman,
BGB, , Honey Monster, Miss Whiplash, Salome, Soapy, Sally con Narler, , John Robert, Tenbob, Bomber, Posh tart,
Chopsticks, C5, Charlie(now Arnie), Lbird, Artifuct, Carolyn mit Emma, Uptake,
Hey Babe, Lord Lucan, Wally, Chris
Latecomers
Lonely and beaver,
Spotless and AWOL, Tweeney and smart bird
Visitors/Phoenix
Taunton Hash – Nancy
Drew, Rusty Needle
Lost Sole - Bolshoi
American Harepiece in Berkshire –
with Mine Host – OLD SHEP
Your scribe and the hare are one today(and I’m learning to
crawl?!) so you know what to expect of the write up. Modesty prevents me using
superlatives throughout but everyone that I spoke to was suggesting I do it
every week!!
With the Italian absentees not being present C5 took control and welcomed all the
hares.
Shepherd indicated where his hut was for afterwards with the
warning that ANTIHASH was only
allowing the hash to use the compost heap at the end of the garden and toilet
facilities were there also!
Then while you losers spent the first 10 minutes searching
for the trail I regaled my learned pal Wally with stories of the White House
and substance abuse with young ladies’ dresses and he gave me tips for my next
run.
The returning pack then headed down down the first of the
muddy slides with Hey Babe being the first faller.
Others tottered but none fell including RICHARD nee BODS – an ex
Abu Dhabi hasher who appeared well balanced(is that an oxymoron?)
As we climbed the other side I noticed Charlie was struggling. Was it the 1970s short shorts last worn by
Kevin Keegan causing her grief – they certainly clung tight – no shame on me it
was a bad foot.
Funnily UPTAKE was also supporting the rear end
(of the pack) as we disappeared into the woods.
Posh
Tart then explained to me how Wally’s racing tips had meant that
she was the first woman(should that be tart?) in the Reading ½ Marathon last
week followed by the aquatic Daisy nee Vicky.
After hearing this TTI1
piped up with his achievement of victory in the Gristle. He beat, C5, LBIRD, Lonely Spotless, Mr Blobby – lucky I had a yankee on it.
Unfortunately the result was declared unsafe and
unsatisfactory because he was towed round by Snowy.
My perfect trail in the woods was being ignored by the likes
of Soapy so declaring UDI I called the marks and ran straight into a
young lady blocking my way on her horse. Wally informed her of my misdemeanours
Stateside and the horse looked unamused and so I had to detour slightly.
Sally
was floundering at this point with Gmarler
also and one thinks it must be due to the injuries received after her enforced
return from Italy to escape continuously bottom pinching.
By now the pack was well spaced out and the only one calling
was the ubiquitous Lord Lucan who
has been now missing for so long even the police have accepted his new status
as a ghost hasher(it’s the doppelganger effect!).
Spotless
by name and nature now emerged looking quite sheepish after his poor
performance in The Bear Pit and lack of haberdash.
But the hounds were totally lost with Greenfly running thither and dither whilst Lbird gamely trudged up one side of the valley and TT1 the other.
With a resounding ON
ON from the red spotted one the massed throng swung to the right and up and
over the ridge.
All except Artifuct
who was on her fauna hunt. She kept stopping turning over rocks and kissing
toads.
What was she trying to achieve you may ask – answers on a PC
to RA..
She then, using her geology hammer, broke open same – rocks
not toads but not a lamellibranch in site.
Quel catastophe!
AWOL
was watching – confused, amazed and said she would stick to sheep!
Iceman
and Blowjob caught up and the former was whinging about
his problems with the web site while
the latter was thinking of changing his name as it was just not appropriate
these days!
IAN (NANCY Drew)
from Taunton was also taking it easy
proving that RBH3 runs
take a lot of beating!
Lonely
and Beaver were enjoying one anothers company
until the dog decided to take a leaf bath. Beaver
will have to give him a good scrub down2 when they get home.
The well known triad Piss
Quick Glitter Tits and Soapy having split up rebonded at the next check
for the big push.
As we climbed , shiggy filled paths were now becoming solid open
tracks and I laid fluffy floury arrows to guide the back markers.
Please note I use my hand to do it - none of this Nancy boy
water bottle nonsense or potato planters!
The run was partly spoilt for me when I heard my fried David(whom I only brought along because
they have dropped him from the football team and he had nothing else to do !)
revealing my best kept secret that the badger on my head is not dead but just
sleepy.
He also said that I didn’t work hard enough to disturb it
and that was why I get away with it!
Who needs friends.
At the regroup I was delighted that Posh Tart chatted me up with the line - “I don’t like rough surfaces”.
Well there is a plethora of products offerring lubrication
from WD40 to Ann Summers best! - but
what would I know?
The legendary Bolshoi
having retired from the ballet was certainly fleet of pas de deux and vying
with the green insect in his original yellow BH3 sweat(I hear this was another
of Wally’s designs).
Whilst the main group headed right Motormouth and I shortcutted dragging the flora gazing Artifuct with us.
We tried to coerce the pack through our watersplashes but
without Lemming or the social Shepherd(who had now headed homewards
for his beer) all remained dry – but of course it bucketted down down when the
mechamical orifice and I set it.
At this point we lost Wally who somehow then managed to
finish first – years of experience.
A superb slippery trail of good length with prime shiggy and
varied hills – don’t you agree?
Last and least was TENBOB
who came in complaining that the horrors run that he had set with Dumper was a disaster and he wished
he’d asked for help from the Hasher/Hare of the Year.
That famous figure said why not arrange these words into a
well known phrase or saying
SO YOU WALLY TOLD.
We were greeted at The Hutt by the hospitable Antihash(she had turned her ballroom
into a kitchen for us!!) and the longest serving lady hasher worldwide Queen Wendy who had kindly prepared the
vittals for us.
Alas no Shepherd’s Pie(Antihash
said “We are not cannibals you know” ) but lots of tasty grub(Double X
would have liked it because it was
free) and an assortment of healthy drinks.
Down Downs
C5
was back in his element – his receding hairline welcomes you to 6456444 – Turners
Arms Easter Sunday with the return of your friend and Wally’s – Dumper!
|
Name |
Reason |
Style |
|
Taunton Hashers – Nancy Drew & Rusty Needle |
Staying at Wally’s House |
C5 got soaked there was so much spillage |
|
Spotless, Lonely, Tweeny |
Latecomers – Spotless got lost in Berkshire! & punctured Lonely. Tweeny for asking Whiplash the way |
Styleless |
|
TT3 |
Saying it was Shep’s 60th when we know he is 65 |
Slow |
|
AWOL |
Calling most of the hash old farts(he wasn’t even here) |
Sheepish |
|
Pissquick |
Member of the Triad |
Wasted |
|
Soapy |
FRB but not following flour! |
Good toupee |
|
Artifuct |
Rock climbing |
No spills |
|
Charlie |
Renamed Arnie – “I hate you Dad” |
Piercing performance |
|
Hashgate, Motormouth, Shep |
Hares |
No tope, no hope, no pope |
|
Shep |
His 65th birthday – and he don’t look a day |
Filled his boots |
What , what did you say DEAF SHEPHERD’s new album’s
out called “Even In The Rain” how apt
and
Figure 1
BGB
or Morribaby as he is better known
is organising a run for Double X to
celebrate 20 years of not paying his subs!
