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Run Number: |
1281 10/06/02 |
Visit the
website – http://www.bhhh.freeserve.co.uk
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Venue: |
Fox & Hounds Donnington |
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Hares: |
PonyExpress Centaur |
Foxes, Hounds, Young and Old Dogs Alike
Steve Tony Cerberus Premature Hashgate 2Bob Puddleduck Mr Blobby Mrs Blobby Utopia Lynda Gutbucket Dribbler Butterfly and dog Paddy Glittertits Pissquick Muff HeyBabe Itsyor OldFart Flash Ms. Whiplash Salome Lynda Greenfly Dwight Julia and growing baby Sam Baldrick Motox Foghorn Chopstix Iceman Spunky(nice to see him again) Ladybird Blowjob Gordon(that’s her Hash name!) Skidmark Cheating Lonely and dog Beaver Ann-Marie Le Voisin Zebedee Florence Tweenie Psychological TwinCam and daughter Georgie (she ran really well!) Dolly Potty Nutcracker Brian and dog Corbičre (Corbi for short) Virgin Jerry and dog Molly TT2… and later GBH
The Tale of the Horse
Indeed it was since the Hares were made up of a pony and a centaur. Not only that but this was a man versus horse type of Hash; through bog and ling for what seemed like many miles. But before I get into tonight’s endurance event (oh, all right, there were plenty of short cuts) I must applaud Septic and Dumper for a very well organised, successful Hash Quiz Run and BBQ last week. Everyone I spoke to thoroughly enjoyed the Jubilee day and some of them had even been on Dumper and Septic’s Hash. So hurrah for the old queen (make of that what you will…)
I
nearly entitled this piece ‘The Return of Baldrick’ since it was on a Hash from
this very pub that the unlucky chap broke several bits of shoulder last year
(hence the BH3 saying ‘to do a Baldrick’ when someone falls
headlong). We must give him credit for running along the same slippery path
this year albeit in the nursing company of Tweenie who steered him carefully
around over-large wormcasts and any boulder-like rabbit poo. I am very glad to
say Baldrick finished the Hash un-snapped in the clavicle department and well
done to him for braving the course.
Since it was bound to be a long evening
(there being two regroups) I felt it best to hang back at the On Out. This paid
off as the ‘usual way’ turned out to be a false. An inner smile offset the ache
in the legs from the Sunday’s Wargrave 10k; where I had seen TwinCam, Steve and
Tony hurtling round at the speed of light. But the smile was quickly replaced
with a grimace as Premature and I followed Dwight up a fairly steep hill by the
golf course to the inevitable false. Not only that but we crossed the road and
made off in the opposite direction to where we knew we would be going! That is,
everyone bar Cheating, who lived up to his name and cut off the loop by running
down the road.We scurried along grassy tracks and through a wavering, deep
green field of wheat, or barley. Well, growing stuff. It was a fine sight on
the rolling land marred only by Chopstix’ arse which she kindly moved out of
the way as I toiled past. Let me just say that there is nothing wrong with the
Chopstix derričre – it’s pliant and nubile and jolly useful
for sitting on no doubt, but I was in countryside enjoyment mode at the time.
Somehow Mr Blobby and I got lucky when we hit the tarmac and we ran awhile,
enjoying the FRB role and shouting the ‘On’. We came to a tight crossroads in a
small and pretty hamlet and there, on the side of the road, lay a poor, dead
muntjack deer… with a large blob of flour on it. A little harsh by Centaur
(surely not PonyExpress) you may say but Mr Blobby offered his explanation for
the tragedy. The way he saw it, Centaur had been galloping unstoppably towards
the crossroads when the creature had suddenly bolted from deep cover at the
roadside. Before Centaur realised it a huge meteor-like flour blob had shot
from his hand and caught the beast right in the cobblers. Appalled by this
McDougall’s mugging it had keeled over and snuffed it on the spot. Centaur,
never one to waste an opportunity, had knelt down and carefully fashioned a
veritable Cleopatra’s needle of flour on the soft fur of it’s stiffening flank.
We had little time to conjecture further as we were being called on up the hill
by Tony and short cutter Cheating. That is, until Tony realised that what he
thought was an arrow was actually an ‘F’. What a prat.
A bit more ferreting around in forest and shiggy saw us at the derelict
but historic Donnington castle. We stood on the mound and watched a truly
spectacular double rainbow shimmer into view, framing the green and pleasant
(if wet) landscape in a fabulous, brilliant arc. The truly amazing thing was
that we could actually see the end of the rainbow in the field below and we
marvelled at the unusual sight. That is, until a gentleman Hasher suggested we
could go down to it. I can only presume twin brother Zebedee got most of the
brain cells.
After a fair hack we regrouped for the first time at The Blackbird, Bagnor and then embarked on the long trail which led us through some very wet land and two rushing streams. That is, for those brave souls who took notice of the two bar checks. Well done Foghorn, Zebedee, Greenfly, Mr Blobby. The latter especially since Flash actually ran across his back in a vain attempt to escape a Foghorn splashing – he showed me the tread marks! We of course looped back round to the pub and Cheating and I staggered gamely up that bloody great hill behind it. A little bird told me that Motox had sneaked directly across form the pub! Surely not. Then we were on the long Baldrick accident trail so I followed that fine runner who is slightly older than I am, Cerberus, carefully along the slippery shiggy. We passed 2Bob who was taking an important phone call. We slipped by Potty who was (as he said) running flat out at 5 mph. Passed Baldrick and Tweenie. I felt it time to spurt on a tad and passed the good Cerberus who responded with an exhortation to me to “Unleash those legs, Hashgate!” Hopefully this was some sort of compliment – but I’m not sure. The other surreal comment came from Mrs Blobby who was watching Gutbucket sliding back down a slope after several attempts to scale its muddy surface. “You’ll have to take those trousers of in the car.” She called to him. I hurried away, not wishing to even think about it.
The second regroup came and went and the dafter of us hurried away to Snelgrove Common on the long trail, splashing through much water, mire and dry tarmac paths. Weird! God knows where Greenfly had got to but people like Zebedee and Tony flitted around the front as we doubled back on ourselves before bursting out into the car park and site of Cheating’s ill-fated Griller BBQ (the park ranger put it out!). Spunky stopped at the public loos for an environmentally friendly whizzer and we all dragged ourselves over the various stiles and along the boggy paths until we hit the road. “Have you got a limp?” Enquired Florence of me. I briefly pondered whether she had finished her sentence early but decided she hadn’t and bored her with the old tight calf muscle ploy. After sundry bogs, ponds, wet hills and hollows we eventually found ourselves running On Inn via the usual On Out and Tweenie and BlowJob took the echo opportunity beneath the underpass to ring forth a positive fusillade of bugle calls before trotting into the pub car park. Thanks PonyExpress and Centaur. When I’ve recovered I’m sure I will enjoy the memory. On On. Hashgate..
Down Downs
RA Motox and guest speaker Ladybird presented the following :-
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Name |
Reason |
Style points |
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TwinCam |
Being a 300 run life member |
Downed with amazing speed! |
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Baldrick |
Running
over bars, falses. Anything they didn’t like really. |
Premature went off early and finished quickly. Not surprising really! |
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Jerry |
Tonight’s virgin in new shoes |
Fine effort topped off with a shampoo! |
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Foghorn |
Playing
water babies. |
Excellent. |
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Gordon, Skidmark |
Oxford BH3 virgins |
Valiant
efforts with some RA abuse |
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GBH |
Using a mobile in the circle |
His usual
rapid swallow |
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PonyExpress |
The Hares. Pony Express asked for a small one… |
…Motox gave her one and she came first. |
Up and Coming
|
Run Number |
Date |
Grid Reference |
Venue |
Hares |
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1283 |
24/06/02 |
743612 |
The Hatchgate, Bramshill |
Greenfly |
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1284 |
01/07/02 |
975630 |
The Red
Lion, Red Lion Road, Chobham |
Wally Itsyor Shutup |