Commoners of Little Worth

Le Voisin Lonely Anne-Marie Beaver Daftodildo Zebedee Florence Baldrick Cheating Spot Oldfart Steve Alex Iceman Linda Nadia Wally Keith Neil Bev Wetdream Tweenie Honeymonster C5 Twobob Puddleduck BGB Cloggs Jude Michael Fiona Simon DykeQueen and Wycombe Hashers Phil Crookes Jerry Lenor Ros and her mother

In the Black Wood

When at 7:15 p.m. (note!) Zebedee and I entered the car park a rather harassed–looking Glittertits greeted us. “Things are rapidly turning pear-shaped,” he said. The ranger had obliterated some of the trail, the pub landlord was threatening to put our curry dinners in the dog if we didn’t eat by 9 o’clock and Wally had just arrived. Bad things always happen in threes!

We gathered around politely waiting for latecomers to boost our numbers. We were missing some of the more affluent members who had gone to check on their offshore investments while enjoying a debauched hash weekend in the Isle of Man. Only C5 had made it back from this Manx sojourn – his glowing red nose evidence of the excesses he had enjoyed there. Tweenie arrived - he was there to see if the hares made more of a hash of it than he did last year when many of us got lost in the dark.

There was lots of dithering about at the start. Most went on out the wrong way and eventually we found ourselves going back through the car park and over the gate. A little later in the woods BGB and Cloggs joined us whizzing past me in a race to reach the front. I caught up with Zebedee and Cheating who had just “enjoyed” a bar-9. Nearby Muff and Glittertits stood at a check armed with big plastic bottles full of flour ready to guide us with arrows wherever nasty Mr. Ranger had spoilt the trail. I asked Jerry for his comments – he said “It’s a shambles” but then he is a Wycombe hasher.

Half an hour into the trail we regrouped by a shelter. My chance to catch up on the people I didn’t recognise. ”Excuse me, which hash do you run with?” “I’m with Berkshire “ came the replies from both DykeQueen and Jude. I slunk off embarrassed.

We carried on by 2 different routes to reach a pond. Here Beaver seized his opportunity to bathe and came out looking black and smelling worse than a dog. I reflected that I could have been in the same state if the hares (all divers) had followed their original plan to give us underwater diving lessons. Further on at a short/long split I was joined by Tweenie, Neil, Cloggs, Spot and Jude on the long. Over a stream and up an incline C5 and Spot were inspecting a very large colony of ants in which Beaver had just had an ant-bath to complement his mud bath. The poor animal was rolling around on the ground trying to rid himself of them. Tweenie blew his horn for the benefit of the “slow-coaches” as he called us and on and on we went.

Jude complained of suffering from a puncture but she was still going better than my fully inflated self!?!?! She told me she had been introduced to hashing by someone she trained in computing. I thought this sounded very worrying – teaching BH3 hashers to use computers – whatever next - but was relieved to find that it was an Oxford hasher whose identity she would not reveal. Dyke Queen was flagging by this time – he was in desperate need of the pub.

We came to the welcome sight of the ON-INN sign by a stile. Phil Crookes, a South Herts and Wycombe Hasher, depressed me by telling me the pub was a long, long way off. He was right. Intriguingly there was an ON-ON sign much later on – to keep our spirits up I suppose. I passed Pissquick and Slipperynipple running back round the trail looking stressed searching high and low for Anne-Marie. A bit later I passed Simon looking for them as the lost Anne-Marie had been found – in the pub! The helpful Simon better be careful – he’s getting the reputation for being a “nice, young man” something no hasher should aspire to!

Back at the pub we sat in the garden chatting and enjoying our curries. It was all very civilised. The atmosphere was marred by the pub landlord who had been so friendly on the occasions when the hares checked out the pub and trail but seemed to be suffering from PMT on the night. Wally berated the hares and tried to give Slipperynipple and Pissquick a copy of his trail-laying rules. Wisely they threw them back at him.

Thank you hares – but remember the aim of every trail is to lose Wally not to listen to him!

On On. Florence

RA Spot forgot to announce but would like to say on this gob sheet that it was a blessing in disguise that the usual RA Motox was away because, for a change, we had REAL ale!

He presented the following Down Downs

Receding Hare-line

937607

Donkey Town

**SPECIAL EVENTS******* SPECIAL EVENTS******* SPECIAL EVENTS**
FULL MOON HASH -- 7:30 p.m. Saturday 27th July at C4/C5’s   27,Firlands, Bracknell            Tel 01344 646589 to book 
BH3 WALK AND VISIT TO KEW -  Sunday 18th August 10:30am. See Spot for details.